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The haircut/dinner started off good…. a little bit of wine as he began cutting my hair. Shoulder length is what we were aiming for, with some choppy layers. It ended up chin length and bit funky. I don’t think it was the wine, as I was definitely drinking more than he was while he was cutting my hair, but what the heck? Oh well, the good thing about hair is that it grows back. And, I have had long hair for quite awhile now….
I am still in my slump. I am just not in the mood for anything and am trying my best just to get through the day. It is a horrible feeling and I don’t know how to shake it. I was blaming the holidays, which always bug me, and the plumber, and the stress I am feeling about getting into the graduate school program that I want. Now, I am convinced it is just one of those things that I need to live through and experience. I think that it may be a little bit of post-divorce emotion that never got the chance to be expressed. I have been so busy trying to make sure that my children were being taken care of and not feeling bad that I never allowed myself to work through some of the emotions that come along with a divorce. I am not pining away for my ex, or the plumber for that matter. I am grumpy, ornery, frustrated, and sad.
I realize that I am the one responsible for my own happiness. I know that to truly appreciate all the fabulous in my life I need to experience some bad. I know that this too shall pass…… hopefully sooner, rather than later.
~ All pleasures contain an element of sadness. ~ Jonathan Eibeschutz
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